Anyway, here are the quotes I've gathered lately. Even my mom and mother-in-law made it into the mix this time! Enjoy....
1. Mom: "I wish I didn't have such a big load in my back."
(FYI: she was talking about her "trunk" here-- like, the actual car kind. But I still giggled.)
2. Ruby: (while walking in our neighborhood) "Hey, maybe we'll encounter that funny dog."
(Yes, and when we do, we'll offer it a salutational wave! Geez, when did we start feeling the need to utilize such formal language?)
3. M-i-L: (asking about Ruby's upcoming doctor appointment) "So, I guess they won't know anything until the autopsy results come back?"
(Hmmmmm. I believe the word we were looking for here was "biopsy".)
4. Hubby: (after hearing a suspiciously juicy noise) "Ruby, did you just fart?"
Ruby: "Smell the air and find out!"
5. LM: Do you just love being with my mom?"
LM's Friend: (tentatively) "Uhhhhh.... Kind...of. But I like being with my mom better."
(Well, hey, at least she knows where her loyalties lie.)
6. LM's Friend: "My grandma is going to be 90 today!"
Me: "Really?! Your dad's mom?!"
LM's Friend: "Yeah! Or she might be 84 or in her 40's. I can't really remember, but she's SO old!"
(Wait a minute....)
7. LM: "When I grow up I'm gonna be a robber. A good robber. A robber who kills other robbers who rob banks."
(That is just wrong on so many levels.)
8. LM: (after we'd praised his sister for her expert car washing skills-- a bit too much apparently) "But do you know who the best car washer is?"
9. Ruby: (accurately suspecting her brother of foul play) "LM! What did you just do?"
LM: "I did absolutely nothing!"
Ruby: "Oh yeah? Well the tone of your voice says you did absolutely something."
(Ahhh-- already a detective-- she'll make a great mom someday!)
10. LM: "You know how babies come out? They just cut a hole in the mom's tummy and reach in and pull the baby out."
Hubby: "That's not the only way they come out."
Me: (cringing at this conversation).
Hubby: "If I tell you the other way, you need to promise you won't discuss it with your friends."
LM: "Wait! I don't want to know!"
(Smart boy. Relieved mom. Disappointed dad.)
11. Ruby: (after watching a violent nature show) "Is that why you became a vegetarian?"
Me: "Not exactly. But I could show you other videos that would make you wanna be a vegetarian."
Me: "Because of how the farm animals are treated. You might decide you don't want to support that system."
Ruby: (deadpan) "It's called dominion, Mom."
12. LM: "Ruby, you're the grossest sister ever. And you're beautiful."
(Makes sense, coming from a brother and all.)
Enjoy the end of summer, everyone!