"Hey Nona, how'd you like to be one of the judges for the 6th grade Science Fair? It's easy. I'll give you a rubric and instructions and Starbucks!"
What hubby failed to mention is that it would take me most of the school day to get through only half of what I was supposed to, and that they would be well...rather atrocious, honestly. Perhaps my expectations exceeded that which an average 12-year old can produce, or perhaps projects with names like "Sticky Crystals" really are as bad as they sound.
I did learn a few things, however. Important things I'd like to now share with you. (Knowledge not shared is knowledge wasted, after all.)
1. When bullets are shot into a phone book they look less like bullets and more like smashed pieces of metal.
2. It is no longer necessary to crack an egg to remove the yolk and white-- simply soak it in acid and the shell will dissolve right off! (A cook's tip for ya!)
3. Replacing candle wicks with shoelaces does not make for a romantic ambiance when lit. And, on a worse note, there goes your running shoes.
4. Don't buy Revlon liquid foundation. Just...don't.
5. Baby chicks can be dyed all sorts of colors. It still remains to be seen whether they can be flavored. I'd like a coconut-curry chick, please!
6. If you boil maple syrup and then freeze it, you may discover some crystals-- but how does that help your pancake situation? Two words: it doesn't.
7. Alka-seltzer will re-energize flat pop (and make it taste deliciously like medicine!).
8. Next time your child complains they are afraid of the dark, simply place a lightbulb in their mouth and hand them a balloon to rub on their head-- instant night light!
9. If you attempt to grow a plant in a jar upside-down and without soil, it will die.
10. A burning question is answered: Oreos and pureed kiwi are not a good flavor combination. And to think I might have tried it!
But the biggest disappointment? I did not see one, no not one, erupting volcano. Is that even legal? All I know is that if hubby thinks he's paid the debt with a measly tall Chai tea, he's has grossly underestimated how much he owes me. I'm thinkin' we need to head back to Starbucks....