Monday, March 3, 2014

Miss Informed Helps Again!

I was recently asked a great question, and having promised to answer any that are posted in my blog's comment section, I am obliged to help:

To Miss Informed: please tell me why there are so many different health "ideas" out there. I am almost 83 and still do not know what is healthy for me. I hear quinoa is good and has more protein than meat, but it is a grain and grains are not supposed to be good for you because of GMO...any help you can give would be appreciated!

Ah, yes, I can see why you are perplexed by the myriad of information currently available. So allow me to condense all the experts' suggestions into a single recommendation: do not, under any circumstances, eat food. I know this sounds impossible, but it's really a lot easier than you might think. (I wouldn't know of course-- I've never tried it-- but it seems simple enough.)

Hold on, you asked why there are so many different health ideas out there, and I haven't even addressed that yet. (I guess Carolyn Hax's job is safe after all...darn.) But I think the better question would be "How can I capitalize on all these health trends?" Ah! Now I can help!

What do you like to eat? Then link it to something wonderful about you. For instance, do you love salt? Are you slender and healthy? Then start promoting The Salt Diet! Provide your own testimony about how salt has kept you thin, trim and vibrant. Once you start getting the message out, your next step is to write a cookbook. (Don't worry about having good recipes, just make sure there is a ton of salt in them.) When someone "science-y" tries to refute your claims (they are SO annoying), just increase your Salt Diet posse and send them out into cyber-space. (A.k.a. recruit family and friends to blast these "experts" in the comments section of any negative articles written.)

Proven strategies for a thinner, healthier you!
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

Okay, okay, in all seriousness, I do have a personal stance on health ideas, old and new. Here it is: If God (not man) provided it for food (and assuming you are not allergic or intolerant); eat it and enjoy. And the closer it remains to its natural state-- meaning organic, non-modified, and unprocessed-- the better. But you know what? Enjoy some naughty stuff on occasion too. It's fun.

Hey, maybe I'm good at this advice stuff after all! (But really, consider moving forward with that Salt Diet idea-- I think we might be on to something! And besides, mmmmmmmmmmmmm...salt!)