I Survived Another One!

Last night I had to (I mean, got to) attend Ruby Jane's Christmas music program. For those of you tempted to think that this is an enjoyable experience, let me set you straight. It is, in fact, the perfect kind of torture.

First of all there's the matter of expecting LM to sit through over an hour and a half of any activity that is not a Transformers cartoon marathon. Oh, and don't think I didn't bring things for him to do! I did! I brought Magnetix, paper and pens, a G.I. Joe knock-off figure, and snacks. But do you know what he found even more interesting than all those grand items? The little girl sitting behind us. He could not keep his eyes off her or his mouth quiet. I'm trying to believe that the family left so early due to the fact their baby nearly barfed in the middle of the program rather than the fact my son would not leave them alone. Because he just could not contain himself.

But more than just trying to reign my little guy in, there's the matter of the program itself. Call me heartless if you will, but I only found the Kindergarten performance entertaining. (Could'a watched them all night long, actually.) I mean, seeing 40 small children dressed to the nines in tiny sparkly dresses and mini vests and ties, all the while nearly screaming their songs out (because they were told to "project" their voices) and with hand motions to boot-- well, if that's not pure entertainment I don't know what is. And there's always at least one kiddo doing a bang-up job with their expressive interpretive dance moves. (Oh, little girl, I have fond memories of thee....)

But after the Kindergartners performed things tended to go downhill a bit. I'm sorry Ruby Jane-- but your class's recorder performance was barely survivable. Tweet, tweet, tweet, squeak! Tweet, tweet, squeak! Oh, mylanta.... But I clapped dutifully because Ruby was looking so very lovely in her holiday dress (which I had to pay her to wear, but it was worth every penny, believe me).

If I thought the recorders were horrendous, they were nothing compared to the beginning band students. I must have gleaned some sort of enjoyment out of their performance, however, because I found myself giggling uncontrollably at one point. It's those clarinet kids, I think. They're always the ones to mess things up. But, alas, clarinet is a popular instrument....

By the end of the program my butt was aching, my nerves were frayed, and my ears sorely in need of Chopin. But I smiled at Ruby Jane, told her she did wonderfully, and thanked my lucky stars there is one more whole year before I have to do it again.