Monday, November 29, 2010

Too Toothless

What started out as me trying to take a simple picture of LM's new (even toothlesser) smile, turned into an inadvertent photo shoot of a boy and his dog. Yes, he lets her lick his face. He loves it, actually. But the point is: check out that grin! How is he even gonna eat?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Sista, Sista

I want you all to know that I'm putting my life in danger by posting the following pictures. Fortunately, my sisters have a good sense of humor (right, guys?).

Anyway, this is what happens when Mom innocently suggests we occupy ourselves with karaoke after having stuffed our faces with Thanksgiving dinner. Hey, you gotta work off all those calories somehow, right?

I am mercifully withholding the best photos in this series, mostly due to the fact that clothes kept being shed as the dancer grew hotter and sweatier.

But not only was there exuberant dancing happening. There was also some American Idol-worthy singing going on too.

And when you combine the dancer with the singer.... Well, you've got yourselves some fine entertainment indeed.

I feel like I'm watching America's Got Talent-- except...not.

Oh. My. And if I told you this was an alcohol-free event would you believe me? Okay, okay, I admit it-- four bottles of Martinelli's were consumed prior to this spectacle.

Sheesh, what do they put in that stuff, anyway? Oh, wait-- here comes the grand finale!

I'm not sure who's having more fun here. Mister is looking like he can't quite decide whether his auntie's intentions are honorable or not. But rest assured, no children were harmed in the making of this post feast fun.

Not everyone was thrilled with the evening's events, however.... Yeah, I couldn't agree with Carson more-- it was exhausting just watching them.

Yikes. I am so glad I was behind the camera for all this. And to my funny, quirky, awesome sisters, I am so thankful you're mine-- love you guys! :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Silly Hubby, Fans Are For Summer

Hubby thinks that running our ceiling fan full blast "helps circulate the warm air" in our house. I've got news for him, though. Over by the fan the thermometer reads 64 degrees. It's supposed to be 68 degrees in here according to the thermostat. But to be honest, both those numbers make my whole body shudder with shivers. So I turned down the fan and cranked up the heat.

Ahhhh, 70 degrees with no indoor "wind chill factor"-- now that's more like it! And if it's too warm for the hubster he can feel free to shed some of those unnecessary clothes of his. (Hmmmm, what a splendid idea! Excuse me while I go turn the heat up just a bit more....)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Thanks, Popi....

Far be it from me to question the wisdom of my father-- but the little gift he brought back for my 7-year old Aspie from his recent travels to Ethiopia.... Well, let's just say on a scale of 1-10 of how nervous it makes me, I'm at about a 97.

LM, on the other hand, has a brand new reason to adore his utterly cool grandpa. Nothing says bonding like a humongous African blade, don'tcha know.

If you'll excuse me, however, I have a very sharp weapon I'd like to go hide deep within the bowels of my basement where it will stay for, oh...the next forty years or so. Yeah, it was about the time that LM suggested we have a "knife fight" that something in me decided perhaps this wondrous new gift should be confiscated for the time being.

But LM wants to extend his heartfelt thanks before the blade is safely tucked away:

Dear Popi, I love you, love you, love you like crazy! I LOVE how you gave me that real, actual knife! And that money. And also that African doll. Goodbye!

Ah, yes-- truly we thank thee, dearest Popi. Truly indeed.

Friday, November 19, 2010

One Ring To Rule Them All!

I turned 33 today. I've been waiting for this one. Really! It's the "Jesus age"-- you know, when he did that little thing called die for the sins of the world. It's also the "Frodo age"-- you know, when he began that little adventure called Lord of the Rings. Hmmm, perhaps that explains why I look like a hobbit now....

Ahhhh, three, the perfect number-- and I now have two of 'em in a row! Can you see why I'm so stinkin' excited?? Dang, this is gonna be a good year. Now if I can only get control of this hair....

1. LM: "Anna still eats at McDonald's even though I told her it makes her fat. I don't get it!"
(Wow. I simply cannot imagine why she isn't listening to you. You did emphasize the word fat, right? Yikes....)

2. LM: (fessing up to his sister that he was joking with her) "I'm just pulling your leg off!"

3. LM: "Mom, Anna's just a sour-puss-- 'cause she's sour and she's pussy."
(Ohhhhhh myyyyy goooooodnesssss.)

4. LM: (quoting a "Bible verse") "Just be kind to others and me. Give others a chance and do their bidding. PCP 3:0."
(This is what happens when people who cannot read try to instruct.)

5. The Bopper: (feeling her Adam's apple) "Hey, is that Jesus in there?"
(For sure, sweetie! Every now and then he gets bored in your heart, so he travels up your esophagus for a fun little vacation.)

6. LM: (upon seeing my new 'do) "It's a little hideous, but I kind of like it."
(Still working on that mind-to-mouth filter thing....)

7. LM: (later on that evening, singing an impromptu birthday tune for me) "Her name is Nona! And even though her hair is curly now, she's...still beautiful...."
(Just so you know, it was clear as he was singing that "beautiful" was not the first word that came to his mind-- but it was wisely added at the last second. He's learning!)

Well, I'm off to bed! And tomorrow, Sam, Merry, Pippin and I are going to head off toward Mordor-- I've got this ring, see....

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Oh, The Irony!

We had a conference with LM's homeroom and resource room teachers today. One of the ladies had a cut on the very tip of her nose which was extremely red-- and I was sitting right next to her. Inches away. Every time she spoke to me I had to repeat the mantra, "look at her eyes, not at her nose, look at her eyes, not at her nose...." I think I was beginning to go cross-eyed. It was killing me!

Then I got home and saw the whitehead that had suddenly developed next to my upper lip. Poor lady. Her own little mantra probably went a bit like, "look at her eyes, not at her zit, look at her eyes, not at her zit...."

Personally, I think she had it worse than me. Just sayin'....

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Late Night Epiphany

I just figured something out. What manufacturers are really saying when they claim their medications have a "warming effect" is: "This medicine will burn your throat, and keep burning your esophagus as it slowly travels to your stomach, where it will probably result in indigestion. Maybe an ulcer. We don't know for sure.... But we're FDA approved, so don't worry about it."

Hello-- why can't they just say what they mean? Warming effect my bootay!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Measuring Up

Today when I took LM to his occupational therapy appointment we saw an extremely petite woman. LM looked at me and started to giggle. "Mom, do you see that tiny lady?" Yep, I see her-- keep walking! As we headed into the lobby I had to stop by the front desk and check him in. And when I reached the waiting room there he was, standing next to the lady with his hand up to measure who was taller (she had him by about an inch). Aye, aye, aye....

1. LM: "Mom, I love you so much-- your breath is enchanting!"
(Practicing his pick-up lines for the future, perhaps?)

2. LM: "Shut it, Ruby!"
Hubby: "Don't say 'shut it', LM."
LM: "But you say it!"
Hubby: "Yeah, but I'm not always a good example."
(Wha'? Hold on a sec....)

3. Creepy Old Man: (said to me while I was grocery shopping with Ruby) "Wow-- you sure are pretty for a mom."
(Ruby was completely disgusted and horrified by this. It was a thing of beauty.)

4. LM: "Today I got in trouble for calling Alexis nutty."
Me: "Ohhhh-- you got in trouble for that?"
LM: "Yeah. But she actually is pretty much a nut-job."

5. LM: (listening to the doctor and I discuss his Asperger's) "What? I have Asperger's?!"
Me: "Yes, remember we talked about it?"
LM: "Oh yeah-- the thing that makes me cool!"
(I am so glad that is what he gleaned from our conversation. Especially since a classmate of LM's recently informed him that his mom said LM had something wrong with his brain. Nice.)

6. LM: "Mom, can I watch TMNT?"
Me: "Homework first."
LM: "Are you going to challenge me, old woman?"

7. LM: (drinking a glass of pop which he thought was water) "Hey, it's Sprout!"
Hubby: "You mean Sprite."
LM: "Oh yeah!"
(Pop is such a rare commodity around our house he doesn't even know what to call it. Actually, I find that kind of awesome.)

8. Ruby: (examining a photo of herself from 2nd grade) "Ahhhhh, look at me-- I'm soooo cute!"

9. Ruby: (divulging a list of her secret crushes) "It's good to have a lot of options."
(Well, I suppose so.... But at 10??)

10. LM: (after I'd praised him profusely for getting himself ready for school in the morning-- without help) "Yeah, I'm getting pretty responsible!"
Me: "Yes, you are!"
LM: "Yep, I've learned all my lessons! Mom, don't you think it's about time for me to leave the house?"
(Wait a minute-- not so fast, buddy.)

11. LM: (after he and I had a lively dance party in the living room) "Mom, will you never forget this night for the rest of your life?"
Me: "Never!"
LM: "Oh. I'm going to forget it."
(Okay, then.)

12. LM: (after Ruby had smacked his sneaky hand away from her dessert) "Hey!"
Hubby: "Jeez, Ruby, don't be so violent!"
Ruby: "Sorry Dad, I have ninja reflexes-- it's just my nature."
(Hmmmm, she has a point....)

That's it for now! As always, stay tuned....

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me!

We've had a lot of fun with costumes lately. In the past Ruby hasn't been one for Halloween much, but this year was different. When her auntie offered to make a costume for her, suddenly Ruby's interest in the holiday was piqued. And to my utter surprise, Ruby decided to be Artemis. Why was this so surprising, you wonder? Well, this is a child who loathes wearing dresses-- so much so that I once offered to pay her to don one to her Christmas choir concert. And it's quite obvious that in order to be a Greek goddess, a gal can't throw on a pair of skinny jeans and Converse tennies. (Well, if you're a Percy Jackson character I suppose it would be apropos-- but I didn't want to suggest this and then ruin the possibility of seeing my Ruby looking feminine.) So I happily covered the cost of the supplies needed to get my little lady to look like, well, a lady.

LM, on the other hand.... He just likes dressing up. Period. In fact, it's not unusual for him to come home from school and immediately strip off his regular clothes and hop into a costume. The following shots are not from Halloween, however. These are from his cousin's pirate-themed birthday party. LM wanted to keep his attire as authentic as possible, and so he elected to take his shirt off. (He must have been impersonating a Hawaiian pirate or something.) And if one piratey eye-patch makes you look deliciously malevolent, then two must make you even more so-- even if you can't see anymore.

And, of course, if you're truly going to be a pirate, you gotta get a bit rowdy. After all, pirates don't sit quietly, politely eating their cake and ice cream-- right? And attempting to "borrow" the guest of honor's new birthday presents in order to play with them yourself is perfectly acceptable behavior for swashbuckling buccaneers. (And look-- he even has a realistic looking rum belly too!)

Hey, that gives me an idea! I think LM's next birthday party theme should be "Door Mouse" or "Victorian Gentleman". Agh, who am I kidding? LM would find loopholes, no doubt. The door mouse would probably stumble into some mutating gel and turn into a ninja master ala Splinter. And the victorian gentleman would certainly find cause to duel the other party-goers with pistols at dawn.

Yeah, it's best to just go with the flow, I suppose. Besides, it's really more fun that way.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Like, That Was So Bodacious!

The other day I was able to attend a lecture by the renowned scientist and author, Dr. Stephen Meyer. Afterwards I bought his book, "Signature in the Cell", and then stood in line to have him sign it. When it was my turn, what do you suppose I said to this extremely intelligent man? (Hint: I sounded like an idiot.)

"I super enjoyed your talk!"

Yes, I actually said that. To a man who moments previously had described things such as DNA and the laws of physics with such dynamic academic language my brain was smoking by the end of his presentation.

Yeah-- I'm, like, really awesome at making a good first impression.