1. LM: "Mom, when I'm older, I'm gonna be bustin' crimes with Popi!"
(That idea is only slightly less farfetched than if he said he'd be bustin' rhymes with Popi-- although both are equally delightful to imagine....)
2. LM: "Hey Mom, I have a joke for you!"
LM: "Hi, Raph, watcha doin'?"
Me: (waiting for punch line).
LM: (whispering harshly) "Mom! You're supposed to say, 'I'm just mowin' the lawn with a monster truck'."
Me: "Oh! I'm just mowin' the lawn with a monster truck."
LM: (looking at me as if I'm an idiot) "What?! Are you crazy?"
3. LM: "Hey Mom, guess what?"
LM: "Today is servant day. And guess who's serving me today?"
Me: (with a sneaking suspicion) "Who?"
(So-- what makes that different than any other day?)
4. Me: "LM! There's pee on the toilet seat again!!"
LM: "You just have to get used to it, Mom."
(That just ain't right, son.)
5. LM: (talking about one of his grandma's friends who has been married and widowed three times) "But Lola made a good choice, right? She married plenty of husbands for a lot of enjoyment!"
(Hmmmmm.... That's one way to look at it, I guess.....)
6. LM: "Hey Mom, guess what I'm saying." (Proceeds to move his mouth in random, silent shapes.)
Me: (wishfully thinking) "You're saying, 'I love you sooooo much, Mom-- you're the best mom ever!!'"
LM: "Ummmmmmm...close. I said, 'I love you sooooo much, Mom-- thanks for buying me a ninja outfit online!"
(But wait...I didn't do that....)
Well, I'd say it's time to turn off my now wonderfully smooth-running Mac. And I will leave you with this one piece of advice-- buy the Apple Care Protection Plan when purchasing your new Mac (which, I'm assuming, will be everyone's next computer, right?). Worth. Every. Penny. Goodnight!