Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

My computer's been in the shop for the last couple of days. I kinda missed it.... Okay, that's an understatement. Actually, in its absence I got all shaky and started muttering nonsensical phrases to myself, wringing my hands together all the while. Now I know what you coffee drinkers are talking about when you say caffeine withdrawal. Yikes-- not a pretty sight. So, I'm toying with the idea of having a computer-free day once a week. You know, so I can train my body to be without it. I mean, what if this thing breaks for good? I gotta get to the point where I could survive that scenario. But that has nothing to do with this post. It was just a rather long and unnecessary explanation for why I didn't get as many quotes as usual. (And if you are thinking to yourself that a pen and some paper would have worked well for writing down quotes in my computer's stead, then you are much, much smarter than I am. Did not think of that until right now....)

1. LM: "Mom, when I'm older, I'm gonna be bustin' crimes with Popi!"

(That idea is only slightly less farfetched than if he said he'd be bustin' rhymes with Popi-- although both are equally delightful to imagine....)

2. LM: "Hey Mom, I have a joke for you!"

Me: "Okay!"

LM: "Hi, Raph, watcha doin'?"

Me: (waiting for punch line).

LM: (whispering harshly) "Mom! You're supposed to say, 'I'm just mowin' the lawn with a monster truck'."

Me: "Oh! I'm just mowin' the lawn with a monster truck."

LM: (looking at me as if I'm an idiot) "What?! Are you crazy?"

3. LM: "Hey Mom, guess what?"

Me: "What?"

LM: "Today is servant day. And guess who's serving me today?"

Me: (with a sneaking suspicion) "Who?"

LM: "You!"

(So-- what makes that different than any other day?)

4. Me: "LM! There's pee on the toilet seat again!!"

LM: "You just have to get used to it, Mom."

(That just ain't right, son.)

5. LM: (talking about one of his grandma's friends who has been married and widowed three times) "But Lola made a good choice, right? She married plenty of husbands for a lot of enjoyment!"

(Hmmmmm.... That's one way to look at it, I guess.....)

6. LM: "Hey Mom, guess what I'm saying." (Proceeds to move his mouth in random, silent shapes.)

Me: (wishfully thinking) "You're saying, 'I love you sooooo much, Mom-- you're the best mom ever!!'"

LM: "Ummmmmmm...close. I said, 'I love you sooooo much, Mom-- thanks for buying me a ninja outfit online!"

(But wait...I didn't do that....)

Well, I'd say it's time to turn off my now wonderfully smooth-running Mac. And I will leave you with this one piece of advice-- buy the Apple Care Protection Plan when purchasing your new Mac (which, I'm assuming, will be everyone's next computer, right?). Worth. Every. Penny. Goodnight!