Saturday, September 4, 2010

Gotta Love 'Em

I gotta tell ya; older people are really interesting. I've been hanging out with several lately (they're my homies, fo' shizzle), and ye gads, they can make you smile in affection and then bodily cringe within the span of 5 seconds. (I guess that's why I get along with them so great-- I have the very same effect on people.) And Dad, I would tell you to stop reading this post now except for the fact that you're on the verge of elderdom, and it's about time you start getting used to this sort of stuff. I mean, what are you gonna talk about with your friends in a few years if you can't handle subjects like kidney stones and atrophy? Oh, I hear about it all....

Next time you're lucky enough to hang with some seniors, do yourself a favor-- shut-up and listen. Just this weekend I learned more about elderly health than I could have gleaned from the entire content of webmd.com. Did you know it can take weeks to pass a kidney stone? Or the general procedure that is used to remove one that's 1/4" in diameter? It's not pretty. Not pretty at all. But I'm fairly certain I now know enough about this subject to actually remove one of your kidney stones if you're ever unlucky enough to get one.

I've also been able to practice my poker face when unexpected flatulence occurs. And boy, did I get a lot of practice with that little skill this weekend! Go ahead-- next time I see you just rip one. See if I don't keep on talking and going along as if the whole neighborhood didn't just hear that. I am getting good.

I've also discovered recently that a 70+ year old can leave my tush in the dust while on a walk...in the dark...on a deserted and hilly road. I would like to blame it on the fact I was wearing flip-flops while she was in tennis shoes, but I really don't think that was the deciding factor.... Girl can move, that's all I gotta say. Also humbling is the way that my mother-in-law can school me in the use of technology. Sometimes when she's chattering on about some software program I just nod my head like I'm tracking with her, but really, me no understandy.

An unexpected group, these seniors. Just when you think you've got them figured out-- BOOM-- they go and start humming the tune to Redneck Woman. And when they get to the "hell, yeah" part you can't help but smile, even though they just swore a little.... Yep-- gotta love 'em.

2 comments:

  1. Ahhh...I think my new favorite line of the month is, "but really, me no understandy". Girl you flippin' crack me up! Fo' Shizzle!

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  2. I just repeated that SAME line to Craig!

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