Guilty!

What?!  No way 2 weeks have passed since I last posted.  But you'll be pleased to know I have been filling my time with important civic duties (aka jury duty).  And to all the people who said, "Don't worry!  You probably won't get selected for anything!" I would like to ask if you forgot to knock on wood after sharing such a delightful prophesy.  'Cause I did get picked.  And it was fascinating.  You know what else is fascinating?  (Okay, that was a lame segue, but we all know they aren't my forte.)  Quotes!

1. LM: (listening to his sister and her friend talk about the biggest baby ever born) "Whoa!  Can you imagine that coming out of the part?"

(We're all trying not to, bud, thanks anyway.)

2. LM: "Why do they call them stepdads?  'Cause they step on people?"

3. LM: (singing at the top of his lungs) "Eat up your kids!  Eat up your kids!  Eat up your kids and have fun!  Kids are tasty!"

(For the record, we do not eat children and never have.  Okay...maybe a little nibble here and there.)

4. Mister: (coming out of the bathroom with a big smile) "Oh yeah!  Oh yeah!  I got my poop on!"

5. Bopper: (reciting the pledge of allegiance, which she is learning in Kindergarten) "I pledge in public of North America, in geo public under God, Erin Divisible and Justin Thaw."

(So. Much. To. Say. Can't. Decide!)

6. LM: "Mom, if this house were a mouth, how much would it eat?"

(Wow-- think about that for a minute.  It's deep!)

7. LM: "Ruby, the boys in your class think I'm really popular, and that makes you really popular."

8. LM: "Mom, did you know that boys are more special than girls in Heaven?  I'm not trying to be rude, but...it's true."

(Ummm, no offense taken...I guess.)

9. LM: (referring to Survivor) "I'm blindsided, too-- I never see anything coming!"

10. Ruby: (listening to LM talk a bit of nonsense) "LM, don't burden me with your horrifying words."

(Okay, Rube, as long as you don't burden the rest of us with your over-adjectivication of thoughts.)

Notice anything missing?  Like, hubby sleep-talking quotes?  Well, Ruby let the cat out of the bag....  Busted!  :)  Maybe I can sneak a few in here or there in the future, but I got nothin' for you this time.

Sad But True...And Hilarious

I was going to write something witty to accompany this little map of the world, but find I cannot improve upon it in the least!  (Well, okay, I would change the verbiage in the yellow European section, but alas, I cannot.  Forgive that part....)

One Word: Yikes

I was introduced to the show "Hoarders" last night.  For your information, I will be busy the rest of today cleaning my entire house.

Decepticon Axels!

I just got done watching 5 hours (count 'em: 5) of Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon today.  Why would I spend 5 hours watching a 2 1/2 hour movie, you ask?  Well, the first time was to screen it for the kiddos, carefully inventorying every cuss word and sensual or inappropriate scene (well, except for all the extraordinary violence, that is.  We allow all that-- duh!).  The second time was to watch it with the kiddos, monitoring the time display with one eye, while keeping the other on the fast forward button, my handy-dandy "skip these parts" list in front of me.  Turns out, however, that I missed some naughty words in my careful combing through the first time.  Oopsy.  So if you hear LM calling anyone an "axel" (I didn't bother to correct him), please tell him to watch his filthy mouth.

Folks, I think I've already explained that I'm no longer in the running for the "Mother of the Year" award, need I provide any more proof?  But do I have one deliriously happy 8-year old Transformer fanatic as a result of this censored movie viewing?  Why yes, yes I do.  And as much as I try, I just can't be too sorry for the indulgence.