Friday, October 12, 2012

Non-Stop Talk

Hubby and LM are the stars of this post. Between the two of them, there is never a dull moment around here, whether it's 12:00 in the afternoon or 12:00 at night.

1. Hubby: (asleep??) "Son."
Me: (looking intently at hubby, trying to discern his level of consciousness. He cracks an eye open).
Hubby: (asleep??) "I'm not sleep-talking, I'm just saying 'son'."
(Hmmmmmm. Either he was sleep-talking, or hubby is super weird. Either answer is likely.)

2. Hubby: (asleep-- for sure) "Let me be clear. You're knocking over sheets. You're crumpling them, kicking them off, getting them dirty. I think I'm going to get angry."

3. LM: (smelling a whiff of something foul) "Whoever dealt it...eats it."
(Whoa-- that's harsh.)

4. Hubby: (asleep) "It might have been 93, I can't remember.... It was good, though!" (Proceeds to laugh hysterically.)

5. LM: (after repeatedly being shot down when asking for items at the store) "Can you please just buy something so that I'll say, 'you're awesome, Mom'?"
(Um. No.)

6. LM: "Mom, I want a Monster energy drink for my next meet-- can you dig it?"
Me: "Ummmm...yeah, I can dig it."
(Groovy, man!)

7. LM: (whole-heartedly singing his version of a popular Neon Trees song) "Whoa-oh, I want some more! Whoa-oh, what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Take the body off me!"

8. Hubby: (asleep) "Soft boy!"

9. LM: "The counselor asked me if I was having any problems, so I told her I live in an old house, we're a very poor family, and that it's all (blank's) fault we're in this situation!"
(Aye, aye, aye, bud.... The school counselor meant any problems at school!)

10. Hubby: (asleep-- giggling) "Ohhhhh! It's a problem when you're laughing and trying to chew gum-- you'll suck it right down your windpipe!"

11. Hubby: (asleep-- very sarcastically) "Gee, can you think of a fine game to play where nobody has to leave right now? Oh good! October-- let's start there!"

Yep. Never a dull moment.


  1. This begs the question: How do you find time to fit in sleep while you're so busy taking dictation?

    After all, this stuff is too good to miss.

    1. Oh, Melissa-- I haven't had good sleep for YEARS! Hubby talks and talks at night. He usually begins by mumbling, and then he starts in on a monologue, and by the time I'm awake enough to get my notebook (which I keep on the headboard) I only get a little snippet of what he's said. Then, it takes me a while to fall asleep again. I probably only write down 25% of his rantings-- and desperately try to ignore and sleep through the other 75%. :)

    2. Did I mention he snores, too? And kicks off covers?

  2. Oh LIndsay! The lack of sleep might actually be worth it to me! The quotes are just too hysterical! You've got great sources of material!!!

  3. I'm buying you a tape recorder for Christmas, then you can start a whole other blog devoted to his sleep ramblings.

    1. Just make a "secret" Christmas gift so hubby doesn't become suspicious about its intended use. :)


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