Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Just Ask Miss Informed

I'm trying something a little different today. I have a lot of friends who admire my wisdomness and awesome mother-like skills. I mean, a lot. So I've decided to share some of my hard-won knowledge by answering a few inquiries. You're welcome.

I've noticed that whenever I come to your house, your son's room is in pristine order. How do you get him to keep it so clean?

The state of LM's room, as we speak.
Ah, yes. I hear this one a lot. It's easy, really. First of all, encourage your child to dump their belongings all over the rest of the house-- the more rooms the better. For instance, they should throw their shoes and jacket in your bedroom, stash toys and electronics in the living room or dining room, pile schoolwork on any spare surface area they can find, and fling their dirty laundry in the bathroom. As long as none of their stuff actually remains in their room, it will never become messy. Regarding making the bed everyday...well, I don't think you can teach OCD, so you're on your own with that one.

I hear your kids aren't eating sugar for an entire year. They must have incredible discipline! What can I do to get my kids to eat less sugar?

One word: dates.

This is going to require some effort and expense. No big deal, though. Simply stop saving for retirement to increase your grocery budget, and set aside a few extra hours a day to search for (and alter) recipes that fall within your no-sugar parameters. When your kids beg you for a treat, you'll be ready to whip up a cake that nobody particularly enjoys, but cost $10 and took 2 hours to make. Time and money well spent, friends.

Our energy bill is through the roof. Any suggestions on how to keep it more manageable?

This would probably help.
Yes. Are you married? Your husband can turn the heat down during the day from 9:00am-4:00pm while you're at home and he's at work. The theory behind this strategy is that he is gone, so why would the house need adequate heating? And don't worry-- your 63 degree environment won't bother him a bit while he's at his temperature-appropriate workplace. Of course, you'll have to compensate by blasting space heaters all over the house in order to function at a human level, but I'm sure a few of them are somewhat energy efficient...maybe. At night, go ahead and have him crank it down to 55 degrees. The added benefit here is that your kids will stay in bed all night long. If they even think about getting up to pee or grab a drink, their feet will literally freeze off. Oh, and a wintry house is a great excuse to buy that new coat or sweater you've been drooling over-- you know, the one from Nordstrom that costs $200? So I'm not sure how much money you'll actually save in the end, your husband can probably answer that better than I can.

Well, I think that's enough for today! Hope I've been helpful! Feel free to comment below if you have any questions you'd like me to take a stab at sometime in the future. :)


  1. oh my word...I love these!
    I can identify with each one, especially the $10 cake that no one liked...sigh.
    Love you, Susie P.

  2. This was extremely helpful Lindsay! I've especially been wondering how to clean up my den and how to save some money on the heating bills. Now I have a good plan, as long as I can keep your Mom from reading your blog. Love, Dad

    1. Happy to help, Dad! In your case, though, you may need to change the locks on your house and pretend to be gone when your children and grandchildren come over-- I have a sneaking suspicion they are a large part of your energy (and grocery) bill issues.

  3. Sorry, but I put my question to Miss Informed on your other post. Please check and find an answer, please.


I love comments. Comments make a blog a conversation rather than a monologue. So join in! (Just, um, be nice and all that.)