Ca-CHING!

Gosh, you learn something new everyday, don'tcha? For instance, today I learned that I am a good candidate to lead a life of crime without fear of leaving my fingerprints behind to incriminate me. Huh? What does that even mean? Oh, I'll tell you what that means. That means my fingerprints are virtually useless and unreadable for law enforcement purposes. I found that out today as I was, well, getting fingerprinted. (Don't anybody get alarmed-- it was just a security screen to allow me to officially work at my son's school.) Apparently I have too many wrinkles in my skin that impede the normal spiral pattern. They actually accused me of not moisturizing my hands enough, but I told them (and I would know, thank you very much) that my fingers are simply like that. What can I say? I have the hands of a 90-year old woman. They told me I would need to repeat the experience because my prints could not be scanned properly, and next time would I please come fully moisturized and ready. Yeah, sure, I'll do that. (In the meantime, I'm already scoping out banks.)

Anyway, that has nothing to do with any of the following quotes:

1. LM: "How much money do we have for the carnival?"

Me: "Not very much-- so don't ask for a lot of stuff-- just $15."

LM: "$15?! Ca-CHING!!"

2. LM: (after watching Survivor) "Dad, you're like an older tribe, I'm like a younger tribe."

(Yeah, enjoy it while you can, buddy.)

3. LM: (to one of Ruby's soccer teammates) "You look more like a mom than a soccer player."

(What every 10-year old girl wants to hear, I'm sure.)

4. Me: (to Ruby after she'd made fun of the mangled waffles she cooked up for us) "It doesn't matter what they look like...."

LM: (interrupting me) "Yeah! It just matters that she's a sister in Christ!"

(Well, I was gonna say, "It just matters how they taste." But I like his answer better.)

5. M-i-L (discussing Ruby's soccer game) "It looked like the ball was decepted!"

(I think M-i-L was creating her own word here by combining "deflected" and "intercepted". Hey, it could catch on in the sports world-- you never know.)

6. LM: (offering his pre-dinner prayer) "Dear Jesus, thank you for this day and this dreamy food!"

(If only he thought so highly of all my culinary creations.)

7. LM: (when I told him his TV quota had been filled for the day) "But Mom, you don't know the rules."

(Not only do I know them, kiddo, I wrote 'em!)

8. Me: "Can you guys give me ideas for Nini's birthday?"

Ruby: "For presents?"

Me: "No, for dinner."

Ruby: "Oh, I was going to say underwear, 'cause grown-ups always like boring presents."

(Indeed, we do. And to anyone who cares to know, I love getting underwear.)

9. LM: "Today Auna let me copy her spelling words. Wasn't that so nice?"

Me: "Well.... It sounds like cheating-- I hope it wasn't."

LM: (cheerily) "It was! But don't worry, I won't tell my teacher."

(Oookay, apparently a little chat is in order.)

10. Ruby: (regarding a highly made-up woman) "She looks like she put her makeup on with a paintball gun."

(I hope she remembers that woman during her first venture with eye liner someday....)

11. LM: (upon waking) "I feel refreshingly nice!"

(Oh, that we all could say as much at 7:30am....)

Well, it's time for bed. I have a very busy day tomorrow. First Chase, then Bank of America, and then perhaps Wells-Fargo-- but we'll see how I'm feeling.