Bad Pizza

It was very early this morning that I was having a rather...awkward dream. In it, a friend had just started dating a girl and wanted to prove this fact to us by making out with said girl right in front of our faces. Okaaaay. Well, the sound of their sloppy kissing was nauseating-- literally. "Stop kissing!" I cried, and began to gag in my dream. I then started dry heaving but mercifully popped awake, stomach in knots. And after I awoke I noticed the distinct sound of our dog licking herself silly. Big, wet, juicy licks all up and down her haunches. So that's where the lovely sound-effects for my dream came from! Of all the things my mind could have come up with instead of messy kissing.... But of course that's exactly how it chose to assimilate those sounds. (What is wrong with me??)

Somehow I don't think I'll be able to look at this friend the same way ever again. (Or at least for a very long while.) And the next time he announces his dating status, I think I'd better be ready with a Tums just in case.