Thursday, December 2, 2010

Whopper Thursday

The quotes have been adding up lately-- and we'll get to them! But first, I have to share a delightful story about a man who thought his wife was being silly, but realized quickly (after eating a bit of humble pie) that his wife was actually prudent and wise.

Our street hasn't been plowed at all yet. And this morning I watched car after car get stuck at one end of the road or the other (a tow-truck was even called in at one point!). And after attempting to get Ruby to school and nearly getting stuck myself, I decided I wasn't trying that again. Period. Not worth it! Hubby thought I was being ridiculous, though. So he walked home from work and decided to give me a "lesson" about how to drive in heavy, slushy snow. I suggested we take a shovel with us just in case, but hubby assured me this was completely unnecessary. You guys are probably already ahead of me, aren't you? Long story short: we got so stuck it took three men and a truck with a plow attached to get us out.

1. LM: "What's for dinner?"
Me: "How about fish?"
Ruby: "Uggghhhh."
LM: "Ruby, it's our only hope."

2. LM: (trying to get hubby to play in the snow) "C'mon, Dad. Go outside and play with your son!"

3. LM: (coming in from playing out in the snow) "You won't believe what I've been through tonight! Sliding down the slide and crashing.... But the worst part was eating dirty snow!"
(Sounds like at least one of those unfortunate events was preventable.)

4. LM: (offering our pre-dinner prayer) "Thank you God for this food. And thank you for inventing sharks-- they are so cool!"

5. M-i-L: "Would you guys like to watch 'Itsy-Bitsy Bangy'?"
(M-i-L, much to our delight, often gets the titles of movies messed up. And this version of "Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang" was particularly memorable.)

6. LM: (as I was hugging him) "Uh, Mom, I think your boobs are crushing me."
(Well, son, I think "crushing" is a bit too strong a verb for a chest like mine....)

7. LM: (after I'd said no to his request) "But Mom, don't you want to do something nice for your kid?"
(Nope.)

8. Hubby: (to our stubborn boy) "LM, if you don't try a pancake, guess what you can't have?"
LM: (dismayed) "Turkey bacon?"
Hubby: "Yep."
LM: (staring in determination at his pancake) "Must. Eat. Pancake. No. Matter. What!"

9. Hubby: (talking about his sledding experience with the kids) "I hope people are careful sledding-- there are some pretty substantial rocks on that hill."
LM: "Yeah, I almost DIED out there!"
(He's not dramatic or anything.)

10. LM: (trying to convince hubby to watch Toy Story with him) "C'mon Dad, there are some good lessons in here!"
(That's right, kiddo, appeal to your father's educational side.)

11. Ruby: "I was not created out of dust-- I was created out of randomness and sarcasm."
(Uh.... I got news for ya about how exactly you were created-- and dust, randomness or sarcasm had nothing to do with it.)

12. LM: "Mom, do you make a dog with nitrogen and fartrogen?"
Me: "Fartrogen?"
LM: (giggling) "Yeah! And fur and meat and bones!"
(Hmmmm.... I think it's very possible that our dog is made from fartrogen, yes.)

13. Ruby: (commenting on how slow she is to lose teeth) "Does that mean my teeth are strong?"
Me: "Could be-- I might have heard that before."
Ruby: (smiling slyly) "Ah yes, well, parts of my body do tend to be very strong."
(Yeah, like your head!)

14. LM: (as we were talking about his milk intolerance) "But I can still have the milk outta your boobs, right?"
Me: "Um, I don't have milk in there anymore."
LM: "Oh.... That's really funny that you used to!"
(Just wait until you're 18 and think about it then.)

15. LM: (singing) "I want to wish you a Merry Christmas at the bottom of my heart!"
(You have to go all the way down there, eh?)

Whew-- that was a long one! Hope it provided a giggle or two!

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