When It Rains....

Poor hubby. He's off on a 3-day, 2-night field trip with his students. But that's not what makes the man poor. It's the fact that he's off on a 3-day, 2-night field trip with his students without his suitcase of clothes, sleeping bag and pillow. Yep, all his gear is still in the back of our car. He forgot to load it on the bus. Whoopsie! Those of you who know me well know that I laughed hysterically at this news. But it gets worse (and much less funny). He also lost his iTouch while sightseeing with the kiddos. Big bummer. So every time the phone rings now and it's him, I cringe a little. (What next? I don't think I wanna know....)

1. Mister: (throwing a small fit)

Me: (with mock seriousness) "Do you know what we do with little boys who throw fits?"

Mister: (a bit worried) "What?"

Me: "We kiss 'em!!" (I proceed to plaster his face with kisses.)

Mister: (indignant) "No we don't! We spank 'em!"

(Sorry, bud, I can't help you there.... And just in case his mother reads this and gets any ideas about a post-event punishment, rest assured I already took care of the little bugger. Yep, he got tickled no joke!)

2. LM: "Nini said we'll probably take drugs when we grow up."

Hubby: "Why would she say that?"

LM: "Because I'm cool and might like to do that."

(Hmmmmmm.... I think something was definitely lost in translation. Either that, or we're gonna have to keep both eyes on that Nini!)

3. LM: "You know what my least favorite words are?"

Me: "What?"

LM: "'What the hell' and 'Oh my god'. Wanna know what my favorite words are?"

Me: (nervous) "Uh-huh...."

LM: "'What the blazes' and 'What the heck'."

(Well, I think it's clear we may need to diversify his favorite vocabulary a bit here. Especially after I saw him trying to teach a friend's 18-month old how to say "what the heck". I'm sure they were thrilled.)

4. LM: "Mom, know who my favorite dicycle is?"

Me: "Who?"

LM: "Peter! 'Cause I just love how he cut off that guy's ear."

(He's my favorite, too! But for different reasons....)

5. LM: (trying to, um, impress a friend) "I've drunked my own blood before, have you?"

Friend: "You've drunked it?! That's not how you say it! You say 'I've drinked it'!"

(Ugh, I don't know what's worse-- that his friend took no issue with LM's nasty confession, or the fact that his grammatical correction of my son was so grammatically atrocious itself.)

6. Hubby: (asleep-- dead asleep) "That's a bunch of bull! Hogwash! You're not fine-- you're just saying washy, washy, happy, happy!"

("Washy, washy, happy, happy" being said in a "neener neener" tone. Folks, I could create an entire blog around what this man says in his sleep.)

7. My Sister: (singing silly songs to The Bopper)

Bopper: "Mom, sometimes when you sing it makes my stomach feel sick and I wanna throw up a little bit."

(Ahhhh, so sweet!)

Well, I'm off to bed! I'll be thinking of hubby as I snuggle up all nice and cozy, head on an actual pillow instead of a wad of someone's dirty clothes. Wahahahahaaaaaa! No worries-- I'm sure he'll think the whole situation is funny too...eventually.