End Of Summer Quotes

Oh school, how I have missed thee! The way you take my children and keep them busy all day, and then return them to me in the afternoon exhausted-- and with homework. I'm so looking forward to our reunion, my friend! (Okay, I admit I'm gonna miss my li'l critters just a tiny bit. But I think I'll get used to the peace and quiet again real quick-- so don't worry a bit about me!)

Anyway, here are the quotes I've gathered lately. Even my mom and mother-in-law made it into the mix this time! Enjoy....

1. Mom: "I wish I didn't have such a big load in my back."

(FYI: she was talking about her "trunk" here-- like, the actual car kind. But I still giggled.)

2. Ruby: (while walking in our neighborhood) "Hey, maybe we'll encounter that funny dog."

(Yes, and when we do, we'll offer it a salutational wave! Geez, when did we start feeling the need to utilize such formal language?)

3. M-i-L: (asking about Ruby's upcoming doctor appointment) "So, I guess they won't know anything until the autopsy results come back?"

(Hmmmmm. I believe the word we were looking for here was "biopsy".)

4. Hubby: (after hearing a suspiciously juicy noise) "Ruby, did you just fart?"

Ruby: "Smell the air and find out!"

5. LM: Do you just love being with my mom?"

LM's Friend: (tentatively) "Uhhhhh.... Kind...of. But I like being with my mom better."

(Well, hey, at least she knows where her loyalties lie.)

6. LM's Friend: "My grandma is going to be 90 today!"

Me: "Really?! Your dad's mom?!"

LM's Friend: "Yeah! Or she might be 84 or in her 40's. I can't really remember, but she's SO old!"

(Wait a minute....)

7. LM: "When I grow up I'm gonna be a robber. A good robber. A robber who kills other robbers who rob banks."

(That is just wrong on so many levels.)

8. LM: (after we'd praised his sister for her expert car washing skills-- a bit too much apparently) "But do you know who the best car washer is?"

Me: "Who?"

LM: "Jesus!"

(Um....)

9. Ruby: (accurately suspecting her brother of foul play) "LM! What did you just do?"

LM: "I did absolutely nothing!"

Ruby: "Oh yeah? Well the tone of your voice says you did absolutely something."

(Ahhh-- already a detective-- she'll make a great mom someday!)

10. LM: "You know how babies come out? They just cut a hole in the mom's tummy and reach in and pull the baby out."

Hubby: "That's not the only way they come out."

Me: (cringing at this conversation).

Hubby: "If I tell you the other way, you need to promise you won't discuss it with your friends."

LM: "Wait! I don't want to know!"

(Smart boy. Relieved mom. Disappointed dad.)

11. Ruby: (after watching a violent nature show) "Is that why you became a vegetarian?"

Me: "Not exactly. But I could show you other videos that would make you wanna be a vegetarian."

Ruby: "Why?"

Me: "Because of how the farm animals are treated. You might decide you don't want to support that system."

Ruby: (deadpan) "It's called dominion, Mom."

(Well touche!)

12. LM: "Ruby, you're the grossest sister ever. And you're beautiful."

(Makes sense, coming from a brother and all.)

Enjoy the end of summer, everyone!