Hole-y Quotes

It's late, my feet are killing me (ah-- so that's what happens when you stand on them all day!) and I want nothing more than to stare at the back of my eyelids for the next 10 hours or so. But wouldn't you know the quotes are starting to stack up? So I need to unload a few to make room for the next batch-- I'll sleep better. You'll notice that LM has been waxing theological lately and, um...don't judge me....

1. LM: "Mom, there's two different kinds of frees. The number free, and the free that doesn't cost anything."

(Um...I guess it's time to work on that tricky "th" sound again.)

2. LM: (after I'd told him I would buy him a treat if he went to the grocery store with me) "Mom, I just hate food. If it's a toy, then yes. If it's a toy AND food, then it's absolutely yes."

(I ended up at the store alone.)

3. LM: "Mom, I'm Jesus' son."

Me: "You'r--"

LM: "That means I'm a god!"

Me: "Uh...no."

(Just nipping that potential future cult in the bud right away, folks.)

4. LM: (after posing a question he wanted a certain answer to) "Let's hear it from the boss of this whole place-- which is Mom."

(Well, at least he's got that right!)

5. Me: (handing Ruby a new brand of shower cleaner) "Wait a minute, let's read the directions first."

Ruby: (grabbing the bottle) "We don't need the directions! We're Americans!"

(Yikes.)

6. The Bopper: "I just wanna do it by myself-- like a big lady!"

(Amazing how just inserting the word "lady" in place of "girl" changes the whole connotation!)

7. Ruby: "Dad, could you do some stomach exercises, shave your chest, and get a tan?"

(Hmmmmm.... Somebody's been watching too much TV.)

8. LM: (after watching me make a move in a game which gave him an advantage) "Mom, you were dumb there for a second, weren't you?"

(For the record, I was letting him win.)

9. LM: (sneaking out of bed after being told to stay put) "Uh-huh! Mom, I'm good! I snuck past Daddy like a Ninja!"

10. LM: "Mom, can I watch TV?"

Me: "Did you finish your reading with Dad?"

LM: "Yeah, I read The Two Bobby Brothers."

Hubby: "You mean The Bobbsey Twins."

LM: "Oh...yeah."

(Yeah-- clearly the reading comprehension is still a bit lacking.)

11. Me: (at 6:00 in the morning) "C'mere buddy, sit on my lap!"

LM: (barely awake) "I'd rather sit in a purse and cry all day."

(Huh? Clearly he hadn't had his morning coffee yet.)

12. LM: "That little boy took something away from me and he was rude! When I get to Heaven, I'm gonna punish him!"

13. LM: "God knows all our secrets-- but I know one of his secrets. You know how he heals everyone? He uses potions! And miracles...."

(My, my-- that is a juicy secret, eh?)

Goodnight all!