A New Friend

Our church partners with an organization that matches elementary school children (from disadvantaged backgrounds) with an adult mentor.  When I heard that the school was in need of a mentor for a 2nd grade boy with Asperger's...well, it was irresistible!  I started today.

If you've met one Aspie, you've met...one Aspie.  They're all a little different, so I wasn't expecting this particular fella to be a carbon copy of my LM.  But there were so many similarities I felt an immediate connection to the kiddo.  (It's quite possible he'll be a great new source of quotes, in fact.)

For instance, when asked (per a questionnaire) whether he speaks a foreign language he replied definitively, "Yes."

"Oh?  Which one?"

"Cat.  'Meow'," he demonstrated.  He wasn't kidding around.

"Great news!" I exclaimed, "I speak Cat, too!"  But we conversed in English the entire time, as we are both more fluent in our native tongue than that of the feline variety.

When I first met him he wouldn't look at me (familiar!) and when I asked him questions he didn't respond (familiar!), but as soon as we sat down and began building our robots out of K'nex, the floodgates opened (familiar!).  So I decided to probe him to find out if he was aware of his diagnosis.

"Hey, guess what?  I have a little boy just a year older than you-- he has Asperger's.  Have you...ever heard of that?"

He didn't even look up to acknowledge my question, he was too busy connecting his tiny building pieces together, but eventually he mumbled, "Nope."  He was completely uninterested in hearing more, and I know the futility of trying to press on regardless.  So, unfortunately, this is a subject we'll have to avoid.

When it was time for me to leave we took his lunch tray back to the cafeteria to return it.  We walked in and stood in a line of kids waiting to do the same thing.  Suddenly he stopped, shoved his tray in my hands and shouted, "I'm not returning it!"  His eyes wild and wide.

"You're not?" I asked, confused.  This is pretty routine stuff, after all, and most Aspies are big fans of routine.  He started to run off, leaving me standing there with his dirty tray.  I hastily threw it on the pile (knocking a small girl in the head in the process-- oops!) and rushed to catch up to the little guy.

"Why didn't you want to return your tray?"

"I'm scared!" he shouted at me, angry.

"You're scared of what?" I asked, determined to get to the bottom of this.

"The Kindergartners!"

I withheld my giggle and probed further.  "So...the Kindergartners are scary?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"I don't know them!"

Aha!  "So, you're scared of people you don't know?"

"Yes!"came the firm, yet calmer reply.  He was upset, marching back to his classroom in a major huff.  Those dang Kindergarters had really upset his routine.  Normally he doesn't encounter them at lunch, but being with me had changed his schedule.  Good to know....

"Thanks for hanging out with me today!  I know you really wanted a boy mentor," I offered as a parting statement, "so is it okay that I'm a girl instead?"

"You know...I was just thinking of a girl mentor.  I was thinking of you."  He didn't look at me.  If he had, I might have cried.

He stepped into his classroom and didn't look back.  I already adore him.