Head's Up!

I walked into Ruby's room tonight and found her lying in bed, giggling as she read a book.


"Watcha readin'?" I asked, moving toward the bed.  As I sat down beside her I noticed the Bible in her hands-- the object of all that cheerful amusement. I tried to recall any laugh-out-loud scriptures I'd read recently, but none came to mind.  Although, I suppose Song of Solomon offers some pretty quirky possibilities....  Meanwhile, Ruby's still chuckling, hardly paying any attention to me at all.

"Okay, what's so funny?" I asked, because at this point I was dying of curiosity.  I love a good laugh, after all.  Ruby pointed to 1 Samuel chapter 18 and I desperately racked my brain for any possible comedic relevance to this particular book.  I came up empty.  So Ruby began to read verse 25.

"Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” 


I smiled.  Aha!  Ruby looked up at me, eyes gleaming. "So, what did David do?  Just, like, fill up a basket with foreskins, hand it to Saul and say, 'So...is this enough foreskins for ya?'"

This made me start laughing, too.  Am I really talking about circumcision (on dead bodies, no less!) with my tween daughter?  I mean, if she and I were watching a movie where collecting foreskins was a major part of the plot, I'd probably turn it off.  I eyed the Bible in her hands-- yeah, definitely PG-13, that.

"You know, Rube, I have no idea how David went about presenting all those Philistine foreskins to Saul."  I shuddered at the thought of harvesting such a collection.  "Aren't you just glad it's not a requirement for marriage these days?"

Ruby imitated her father. "Okay, you can marry my daughter, but first I'll need 50 Swedish foreskins from you.  If you can't get 50, then a split of 25 Swedish and 25 Canadian will be fine."

We bust up laughing.

Soon after, I turned out the light and we said our goodnights.  1 Samuel 18:25....  Who knew?