I have 10 random confessions I need to get off my chest. You know, in case these dirty little secrets of mine change whether or not we can still be friends. In the interest of full-disclosure, I feel you should have all the facts about me:
1. Bacon. I believe I find it repulsive. In fact, just thinking about it right now makes me wanna yak a little in my mouth.
2. I like naughty children. Not too naughty, mind you. Just naughty enough to make me giggle.
3. I routinely stare at people, and then pretend I was just gazing off into space if they catch me. I specifically like to look at hair, shoes and butts. Diagnose that.
4. Coffee tastes like burnt water. I judge the palate of coffee-drinkers and find it wanting. C'mon, don't deny it-- you had to learn how to like that stuff.
5. While it's probably more accurate to say I'm neurotic, obsessive, and borderline reclusive, I prefer to say I have an "artistic temperament". Join me in that little fantasy, will you?
6. I can't stand it when my hands are sticky. If my hands are sticky and we're having a conversation, I'm not listening to a word you're saying. There is only one thing running through my mind, "Let me gooooooo! I need to get to a sink STAT!"
7. I find poop, fart, burp, and other junior-high humor hilarious. If you don't, I will probably offend you at some point.
8. I think it's hilarious when people fall. Realizing this is not socially acceptable, I've trained myself to laugh in my head instead. It's genetic.
9. I am one half granola/green/hippy, and one half...whatever the opposite of that is. I am not disturbed by the hypocrisy in this.
10. I still run up the basement stairs so the monsters can't catch me.
Soooooo, do you still like me?
I do still like you even though I (desperately) love coffee and (passionately) despise potty humor. The balance: I'm your twin on #9 and part of #3. I'm pretty sure I have come to believe the lie that staring at butts will transform mine by osmosis... or something like that.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, I believe you may have shed some light on my fascination with butts. 'Cause wooo-dog mine is a doozy!
DeleteI can relate with 7 of 10... are we related?
ReplyDeleteWhy yes, I believe we are!
DeleteLove you all the more! But I am not any of these....I thought we were more alike.
ReplyDeleteSusie
Opposites attract!
DeleteDo I like you?? I flippin' love you, girl! Oh, and I will gladly claim to be one of your genetic links to #8! (BTW, if you've mastered the "laughing inside my head" skill, I need to know your secret!)
ReplyDeleteMy secret? My secret is to take a deep breath and hold it. The only drawback to this method is that sometimes a forceful guffaw can break through this barrier, and it ain't pretty when it does. Sounds like a tea kettle is whistling in the back of your throat before the dam bursts. I've embarrassed myself more than once this way. (Cover it up by coughing.) Blood also helps. If there's blood involved in the fall, it tends to dampen my laugh reflex. And lots of blood? Well, there enters actual concern.
DeleteHA HA! I love it! I relate to many of these...although you know I love bacon and coffee. I am one of those people who would eat bacon ice cream. It's a sickness you know. And coffee? It's probably the one think I couldn't live without. Coffee or water? Coffee. Coffee or chocolate, that' s a hard one. Hmmm...coffee. I just love the stuff. And it's not a caffeine addiction either because I drank decaf for 5 years. Anyway. Sticky hands...SOOOOO seriously the same. I almost had a mental breakdown at Silverwood. How did I even manage to eat that ice cream cone? Every bite was like, "Oh gross. Gag. My hands are disgusting. Ooooo, this ice cream is so good! Oh gross. Gag. My hands are disgusting! Ooooo,this ice cream is so good." And staring at booties? How can one not? The bigger, the better. There is more motion to watch :-) I'm half hippie half opposite too and love me some potty humor. I have a hard time putting a serious look on my face when my children are in full-on potty talk. Being a mom is so hard :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, Jules, we were supposed to be sisters! (TWINS even...except for that bacon and coffee thing. So maybe just fraternal twins.)
DeleteLinds, I spent time making a comment, but the computer decided to reject me....going to try again later. Love you!!!!
ReplyDeleteApparently it liked your second comment better...go figure!
DeleteOkay, again I will try to let you know how many of these I think could be genetic from my side. 1st I love CRISP bacon altho I very seldom indulge (well, yeah, on a cruise.) The staring and trying to look nonchalant is definitely blamed on this side. Very seldom drink coffee unless your Mama makes it. Her coffee is good! And sticky hands bother me too. My rings have to twirl on my fingers or I am after the soap and water. Potty words..not so much...besides I have a husband who does not like some of them. Have you noticed that most of these words are only 4 letters??? Oh my, when it comes to falling (I can't help but chuckle to myself just thinking about that one.) It is a real problem for me, but have matured enough to make sure no one is hurt before the hysterics start. I have never had a basement, but you will NEVER catch me with my feet outside the covers as I know monsters live under my bed waiting to grab me. So, all in all, I am to blame for most of these "quirks". Is it okay to say j/k and :-) Now see if I have to delete this or if the doggone computer will do it for me AGAIN!!
ReplyDeleteI am definitely a Noll (or would that be a Bennett or a Williamson?). In any case, I can trace many of my quirks down the genetic line. So I'm in good company, eh? :)
DeleteDefinitely NOT Bennett. They did not have a funny bone......prim and proper ONLY! Now Noll or Williamson is a different story :-)
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