Quotes And A Soapbox

LM has been providing more than a few awkward moments lately. (Like commenting to a white mother that he found her bi-racial offspring strange, for instance. Oof.) It's been given me great practice for breaking my habit of hovering around while he's speaking with acquaintances or strangers, though. See, I want to be right there if he says something...amiss. You know, so I can explain. But I'm constantly convicted that I should not care so much what people think. (Good advice that's been reiterated by friends who've been there, done that.) After all, we are still a work in progress over here. And frankly, I'm enjoying the process! (The long, long process that may never result in our "arrival".)

1. LM: "Mom, you're beautiful. May the force be with you."

2. LM: "You know what? I don't get 'penis'. I don't even get 'vagina'. I don't get private parts! I don't get any of that stuff!"

Hubby: "You don't need to get it."

(Such a dad thing to say!)

3. The Bopper: (after she found out that in going straight to Kindergarten she will have skipped preschool) "You mean I missed it?!"

(Yep, just kinda slipped right by without our notice, eh?)

4. LM: (after he saw Ruby bump into me he decided to, uh, help) "Ruby! Stay away from Mom's ginormous butt!"

(Thanks a lot, bud. Verrrrry helpful.)

5. Me: (after LM had been a bit rough with me while playing) "Hey! Men need to be gentle with ladies! That's why they're called gentlemen."

LM: "But what do the ladies do for men? Nothing!"

(Oh, I beg to differ, young man.)

6. LM: (holding a candy his sister bought him) "Mom, I'm going to unleash the love of chocolate in my mouth!"

(Whoa, suddenly I really want some chocolate!)

7. LM: (walking in on me as I was getting dressed, all nonchalant-like) "Hey Mom, that's a really nice bra there."

Me: (turning him right around and out) "Thanks...."

(Still working on that whole "knocking" concept. Very tricky.)

8. LM: (as I was pinching his booty while coming up the stairs) "Stop pinching those buns! They're delicate little buns!"

(And irresistible!)

9. LM: "Nini and Popi are bringing a ukulele home from Hawaii!"

M-i-L: (looking at me conspiratorially) "At least it's not another n-i-f-e."

Ruby: (rolling her eyes) "Grandma, you mean k-i-f-e!"

(She caught herself, but not before we busted up laughing.)

10. Me: "LM, what's the best part about being 8?"

LM: "Being older."

Me: "Well, what's the best part about being older?"

LM: "You get more prizelges."

Me: "Like what kind?"

LM: "Oh, like driving the car."

(Hmmm, he's thinking on a much bigger scale than I'm comfortable with.)