April Fool

LM has been giving us a bit of a run for our money lately. He's been taking a keen interest in tormenting his sister-- and she is an all-too-willing victim. It can get as ridiculous as the following: LM: "Hey Ruby, look at the blue grass outside!" Ruby: "It's not blue-- it's green." LM: (smiling impishly) "Nah-uh-- it's blue!" Ruby: (nostrils flaring) "LM, quit lying! It's green! Look outside-- does that look blue to you?" LM: (almost giddy with delight) "Yep." Ruby: (foaming) "Moooooom! Make LM stop saying that! Tell him to say the grass is green!" Eventually it ends with Ruby delivering a solid right hook to her brother's noggin as LM crumples to the floor in a dramatic heap.

So.... Who gets in more trouble? The one who is deliberately pushing buttons, or the one whose buttons are on hair-trigger switches? Or is the proper response the one that appeals to me most-- to run and hide in my closet until they both eventually go away? Er...not that I've ever done that, of course....

1. LM: "I passed the next level of math time tests!"

Me: "Awesome!" (And then more skeptically) "You didn't cheat, did you?"

LM: "Yep!"

Me: "But LM, cheating is wrong."

LM: (happy as a clam) "I just love cheating!"

(Don't worry, folks, he has confessed his sins to his teacher who is now keeping an extra eye on his test-taking. It's kinda hard to lead a life of waywardness when you can't manage to lie.... Phew!)

2. Ruby: (looking in a catch-all bin and noticing its newly organized state) "Is Auntie here?"

Me: (in mock offense) "No!"

Ruby: (shocked) "You did this?!"

Me: (meekly) "No.... Auntie was here yesterday...."

(Dang!)

3. The Bopper: "You ever have a naked lady?"

Her Mom: "A what?!"

The Bopper: "A naked lady! Ya ever have one?"

Her Mom: (puzzled).

The Bopper: (grabbing her ukulele) "THIS!"

4. Me: "What happens when you get bigger than me?"

LM: "I don't know.... You ride around on my back?"

(I may just take him up on that offer someday.)

5. Mister: "Ruby, when I grow up, I'm gonna be a big girl like you!"

(Probably didn't help that Ruby had just painted his fingernails pink-- per his request. But I'm thinking next time we'll just steer him toward a nice, manly sword fight with LM instead.)

6. LM: (looking at our dog's drooly jowls) "Ewwwww! What's with this organic's slime?"

(In Transformer world anything non-robotic is referred to as organic.)

7. This next one's from my dad-- and with permission I am reposting it here word for word as emailed to me:

"LM barges into the bathroom while I’m standing there with a towel wrapped around me after getting out of the shower… He looks at my stomach and says, 'Looks like you’ve lost some!' I can’t help but smile, feeling a little redemption after his last comment about my girth a couple months ago. ('Popi, I think you’re a little bit fat…') Then he steps back to get a better look and adds, 'Now you just need to get a little muscle.' (I’m hoping he’s comparing my physique to a Transformer and not the average almost 59 year old grandpa…) But wait, he’s not done… He promptly marches into our closet, looks at Nini’s clothes hanging there and says, 'Hey Nini, did you keep Grandma Bernie’s clothes???'"

(There goes LM, boosting others' egos again!)

For those of you on Spring Break next week-- enjoy! For us it means house projects (and sometimes that translates into blog posts). Wish me luck! :)