Cruise Or Bust!

Our family just returned from a lovely 7 day Alaskan cruise. And when I say family, I mean parents, grandparents, siblings-- let me tell ya, we were not an easy bunch to accommodate at dinnertime. It's a bit depressing coming home, however. I mean, a cruise is a mommy's dream come true! And as I was thinking about why it's so hard to adjust back into real life, I came up with 10 reasons. So without further adieu....

1. I am currently without a good steward. Nobody made my bed or placed fresh towels in my bathroom for me this morning, and that truly bummed me out. If this is a position you'd be interested in filling, please let me know!

2. There is no breakfast or lunch buffet at my house, and if there was one, I'd be responsible to prepare all the food and then clean up afterwards. And frankly, that sort of defeats the whole purpose. Besides, without a "washy, washy, happy, happy, smiley, smiley" girl standing at the entrance ready to sanitize my hands before eating, I just don't think I could enjoy myself.

3. Since returning, I have yet to be given an activity schedule informing me of all the fun and free entertainment that's available all day long. I mean, I have a TV and all, but once you've seen the live version of "Dancing with the Stars" (and your sister and brother-in-law were two of the contestants) somehow TV just doesn't cut it anymore....

4. If I go out to eat, I will now have to pay for the meal. No more ordering appetizers, multiple entrees just to try 'em, or as many desserts as I can toss back before the kids become restless and want to leave (sheesh, let me finish my coconut souffle!). And, heck, speaking of the kids, they are so relegated back to the kids' menu from now on (where steak and lobster are not even an option).

5. I'm no longer within a minute's walking distance to multiple family members. I now actually have to get in my car and drive to their houses if I want to see them. That hasn't happened yet, by the way-- it's just too much work!

6. There is no chocolaholic's bar anywhere in sight. None! Of course, this could actually be an advantage seeing as I now have several extra pounds to lose.... (Probably due in part to the dessert buffet....) Yeah, I don't think having access to sweets 24/7 would benefit my current weight-loss goals at all really.

7. I probably won't see Ruby Jane in a dress again until prom night. But, hey, I may just institute a "formal night" at home every once in a while! Because doesn't food taste even better when you're all gussied up?

8. My town isn't nearly as charming as Juneau, Skagway, Ketchican or Victoria are. I can't just meander down the boarded sidewalks and pet horses I see along the way. Our sidewalks are made of dumb ol' concrete, and if I want to pet a horse, I'd have to drive out to the country and pay for the privilege.

9. I, like, have to work, volunteer, and take care of a house again. Amazing how fast you can get used to not having to do a darn thing all day. Want to head up to the lounge to watch a friendly game of Who Wants to Be a Gazillionaire? Go ahead! How about take a dip in a jacuzzi while drifting by snowcapped mountains? Do it! Feel like a midnight snack? There's always a restaurant open! Head out dancing at 11:00? Simply call your mom to come and watch the kiddos-- she's just down the hall (as is the nightclub)! Or take a jog on a treadmill while looking out at sea-- and you don't even have to set an incline because the boat rocks so much it inclines and declines for you about every 10 seconds. Spontaneous game of Farkle? Meet me in the game room in one minute! Gone! All of it's gone! I'm, gasp, a responsible adult again!

10. My kids are bored now. The sports court at my house is called the "backyard", and apparently since there are dog poop land mines to avoid, not to mention no ocean view, the appeal just isn't there. No kids' crew, either. I tried to send the kiddos to their rooms today saying, "go see what's happening at the kids' club!" but they weren't buying it. I guess it's just not the same without an activities director to entertain them....

Actually, I came up with a much longer list, but you get the gist....

You know, though, it's just as well that these things come to an end. I mean, how much would I weigh if I lived on a cruise ship all the time?! I shudder to think. Besides, now I have happy memories, and perhaps something to look forward to in the future. 'Cause, um, we're doing this again, right? Right?