Flasher

You know you've become one of the mature crowd when you bring home the top you bought in the junior's department and notice the tag on it reads "dress". The thing hardly covers my ample backside. This, my friends, is why people like me are supposed to stay out of the junior's department. From now on, I'll stick with the misses' section, where tops that hit me at my hips are meant to be worn with pants underneath. Lesson learned.