A Few Good Quotes

LM is home sick today. Nasty cough. Honestly, he's kinda crampin' my style. He wants stuff like snacks, beverages, entertainment...what does he think this is-- school? I told him he's far too sick to be prancing around the house playing with toys and that he'd better go get into bed for a nap. It, uh, worked. No, really-- he's actually down in bed right now resting. Sheesh, poor thing, he must be sick!

Looks like Mama has a few minutes to post on her blog! (Don't worry, I'll check on him in a few hours to make sure he's doin' okay down there. Just kiddin', he'd never let me off for that long.)

1. LM: (helping me in the kitchen, making dinner) "Want me to get the crap pot for you?"

Me: "The what?!"

LM: "The crap pot."

(I think that must be a cross between a crock pot and a...? Either that or he was anticipating some distressing bowel issues after the meal and just wanted to be prepared.)

2. LM: (when asked by hubby to pick up his toys) "Ugh-- Dad! You're making me frustrated! Now, I'm as angry as a rhino!"

(Watch out, hubs! We've all seen "When Rhinos Attack"-- and it ain't pretty.)

3. LM: (when hubby denied his request to have the dog sleep on his bed) "I have an idea! Let's let the one who made us in their tummy and suffered all that pain decide. Hey, Mom-- that's you!"

(This raises a couple questions: first of all, do I really make that big a deal about how much labor hurts? Hmmm, yes, yes I do. Second of all, why can't we default to this sort of logic in every decision making process? I think LM is onto something here!)

4. LM: (while in a serious wrestling match with hubby) "Alright, Dad, I'm gonna go koala on you now!"

(I believe hubby's terrified response was, "Oh no! Not koala!")

5. Ruby Jane: "Hey LM, do you want me to get you a cupcake from my class cupcake sale?"

LM: (pondering the offer grimly before deciding) "No, 'cause cupcakes are too fatty and I hafta watch my muffin top. And I need to eat, well, healthy."

(How does an 8-year old boy even know about muffin tops, let alone be concerned about having one? I'm a failure as a mother!)

6. LM: (trying to get me to buy hotdogs, obviously forgetting his plans for healthy eating) "Mom, I do like meat a lot-- especially when it's round."

(Funny, I would say the exact opposite: the more contrived the shape meat is in, the less likely I am to want it.)

7. Hubby: (to Ruby Jane) "If you can't say anything, don't say anything at all!"

(Wiser words were never spoken! Way to impart that wisdom to the kiddos, hon!)

8. LM: (pretending to answer the phone) "LM Yerbiznus, residence speaking."

(Soooo close! In fact, I may even prefer his way.)

Dang, this kiddo is hungry again! How does he last at school all day eating only one meal? Well, folks, duty calls. Perhaps I will find some round meat for him to enjoy.