Why We Should Be Nice To Teachers

There is a great long list of people in this world who deserve higher salaries.  Kindergarten teachers (followed very closely by middle school teachers) are among those at the top of this list.  My son's Kindergarten teacher in particular.  Imagine taking a very slippery blank slate and attempting to get information to stick there.  It must be like trying to attach a Breathe Right strip to a greasy nose.  (Sorry, that was the first thought that came to me.  Just tried it the other night...not easy.)  Yet somehow (by magic?) she does it.  

But more than the difficulty of imparting knowledge must be, trying to do it with a straight face has got to be nearly impossible.  I mean, we're talking about 5 and 6-year olds here.  They say some amazing stuff.  

Like today for instance.  As I walked to the front door of the school in order to collect LM, I was met by his teacher.  Today she happened to have a smile on her face.  I breathed in a little sigh of relief.  Her smile grew to a chuckle as she pulled me aside to whisper in my ear.  But before she could say anything LM came and grabbed her hand and asked, "is this gonna be a long talk?" (having a suffered through more than one before and clearly disapproving of such a notion now).  After assuring him it would be quick he scampered off, appeased, to play in the fresh (gag) snow.

Teacher: "I never know what is going to come out of his mouth!"  Chuckle.  Chuckle.

Me: (Very curious; a little apprehensive....  Did he tell her that my butt is jiggly?  He told me that the other day as he pummeled it with his fists.)  "What did he say?"

Teacher: "First, he told the class that 'mom' upside down spells 'wow'."  (Relief flooded through me at this quaint little comment.  How sweet.  Relief was soon replaced, however, by a pinch of mortification at the next bomb she dropped.)  "Then later he asked me, 'do you have milk in those boobs?'."

Me: (Trying to think how I could explain....) "His aunt is nursing right now and...."  She waved away my explanation.  Clearly his question had amused her. 

Teacher: "I told him, 'there used to be, but not anymore!'."  I had to admire her honesty with him.  If a kid had asked me the same question I would have found the quickest exit and taken it.  She wasn't through with her story, however.  "Then he asked me, 'so how do you feed your baby?' and I...."

Me: (Interrupting so as to relieve my sense of mortification somewhat) "Oh gosh!  Wow!  Aren't Kindergarteners just full of fun?"  

Teacher: (Laughing) "Oh, yeah!"

I grabbed LM's hand in an effort to signal that it was time to go.  I flashed his teacher my best "kids say the darnedest things-- what are ya gonna do?" grin and she retreated back into the building.  

What else has LM said, I wonder?  One thing I'm convinced of; I'll bet his teacher has gathered enough material from her 22 students to blackmail every single one of us parents.  Note to self: get a nice gift for LM's teacher...and soon.