Um, Do I Know You?

We all know how much I hate waiting rooms, but my little trick of taking my iPod in with me has dramatically decreased any awkward social interactions I might experience (much to my delight). But this last time I took LM to his Occupational Therapy appointment I had to bring Ruby Jane with me, and I didn't want to shut her out of my consciousness and leave her at the mercy of the strangers therein. So, I came sans iPod.

Big mistake. There was a woman in the waiting room with three children. She was one of those women who defies any notions of age. Just from a visual appraisal, you'd have to guess her age span as being anywhere between 31 and 48. She has a smooth, plump face devoid of any wrinkles. Yet, her hair is completely gray. Her voice is low, but not gravely. And she dresses like a Kindergarten teacher. Her three children are all under the age of 5, and no, they are not adopted.

Her daughter, age two or three, was not able to respect my personal space. And as long as she didn't bite me or draw on me with her markers, I figured I could tolerate the fact that she was using my feet as her pillow. But when she started attempting to look up my shorts I began to feel a tad uncomfortable. I nervously glanced at her mother a few times to see if she might relieve me, but her mother was very busy reading a book. Oh well, I thought, and crossed my legs tightly. But then her baby crawled over and pulled himself up on my leg. I smiled at him, and as my reward he proceeded to lick my knee until drool began to drip down to my flip-flops. I was screaming inside my head. Stranger-baby mucus! Dripping! Down my leg! This time I looked at the mother more pointedly; please save me, lady! No such luck. I gently shifted in my seat to disengage the baby and fortunately it worked. Okay, I can deal with this!

Then the little girl needed to go potty. This, fortunately, got the attention of the mother. And on her way out she asked me, "will you watch the baby while I'm gone?" and didn't wait for a response before making her exit. Er...? I tried to imagine leaving my baby with a stranger, even just for five minutes in a medical office, and couldn't fathom the notion. The baby must have had the same thought because he began to cry. What do I do now?? I bent down and began to thrust toys in his direction, smiling fervently (too much so?) and cooing, "it's okay!" over and over again. I didn't want the lad bawling when his mommy dearest returned-- what if she thought I pinched him or something?? Fortunately, he settled down before she came traipsing back in, space-hogging daughter in tow.

That is when Ruby Jane leaned over and whispered to me, "next time, let's sit over there", pointing through the glass to the fabulously uneventful "adults only" waiting area. I nodded, wondering why I didn't think of that. She is so much smarter than I am....