Hello Boobies!

You probably read the subject heading to this post and were a bit surprised. Let me tell you, I understand! That is exactly how I felt the other day when my little sister let loose "the ladies" on the general public in a very crowded swim park. And I got a front row seat to the spectacle!

You see, we were in a wave pool at the time. But "wave pool" doesn't adequately describe the actual rogue tsunamis that were plowing us all over. The pool is only about three and a half feet deep but I feared for my life as wave after wave slammed into my rag-doll body. I don't know who jacked up the wave machine, but they must have been on crack. What I do know is that I probably ingested more peed-in pool water than it would take for your average child to bathe in. And the lifeguards? Useless. But then again, I don't think I could trust their prepubescent strength to hoist me out of the water in a real emergency anyway. They seem to be getting paid a lot just to get a tan and blow their dummy-head whistles at little children who splash.

But back to T. It was in the midst of these death waves that her suit finally gave up the good fight. It, like the rest of us, had had enough. The pounding. The crashing. The slamming. Oy! The poor suit just fell over in exhaustion! And as it fell, it released the vast bosom that is T's. I'm not sure how many of the hundreds of park attendees saw the show, but I did. And I almost drowned. You see, drowning is a far more dangerous likelihood when your mouth is wide open and you're sucking in air, sides heaving in hilarity, and your balance completely undone. I suppose you could say I deserved what I got a moment later-- slammed down head first with the next wave. By the time I surfaced again T had managed to encourage her suit back into its rightful position. And then, almost as quickly as they started, the waves stopped and calm was restored.

As we all dragged our near lifeless bodies back to our lawn chairs, none of us were quite sure whether we had just engaged in a fun activity, or if someone else just had a lot of fun at our expense. But I do have a memory that I will cherish for a lifetime. Thanks, T. And thank "the girls" for me, too, will ya?