Quoting Some Quotes

Go ahead and roll your eyes, but along with the quotes I'm including a little joke I made up on the fly at Christmastime. I mean, yeah, I'm tooting my own horn here-- but what you don't understand is that I don't normally come up with funny quips until about 24-hours after the opportunity is already gone. So allow me to just celebrate my moment of victory, please. They are so few and far between....

1. Ruby Jane: "Are Saturn and Jupiter gaseous planets?"

Hubby: "I can't remember which planets are made of gas."

Me: "I think the gassiest one is Uranus."

2. (LM: playing "Littlest Pet Shop" with a female friend-- boy style-- complete with growling and attacking.)

Friend: (getting weary of having the cute little figurines fight death matches) "No! Nobody else gets hurt!"

LM: (genuinely bewildered) "You mean-- nobody dies??"

3. LM: (cheerily to a frozen dinner roll) "Alright, my friend, let's put you in the microwave for a bit!"

4. LM: "Satan, you're dead! I'm workin' for Jesus!"

(Preach it, brutha!)

5. LM: "Whoa, Sonia is staring at me!"

Me: "She's saying good morning!"

LM: (truly surprised and pleased by the thought) "Hey, she's never said that before!"

6. LM: "Hey, Mom?"

Me: "Yeah?"

LM: "You know school? It's not really my kind of sport."

Me: "O...kay."

Bonus: Our foreign exchange student is at it again! And for goodness sake, please nobody tell her I have a blog! If you even threaten me in jest I swear I will immediately remove all posts concerning the little darling whom I love with all my heart and soul and would never ever no never want to offend in any way ever because my love for her is so very deep and wide. (Did I cover myself well there? I thought the lack of punctuation was a nice touch. You?)

1. Brasileira: (after seeing the recipe I was making for dinner called "Mini Shepherd's Pies" she asked what a shepherd was. I explained.) "So, we're eating 'Mini Guys Who Take Care of Sheep Pies'?"

Me: Uhhhh...something like that."

2. Ruby Jane: (excited about a carnivorous plant she ordered) "Brasileira! I'm going to get a meat-eating plant!"

Brasileira: "What!? You're going to plant meat?!?"

Life is never dull, is it? Oh, but how I wish sometimes it were! Alas....