Busting Patooty

This weekend my older sister and I gathered up our troops and headed off to Nini and Popi's house for an overnighter. Spending the night with The Bopper and Mister is 1 part pure joyful entertainment, and 1 part utterly exhausting. Especially when Mister decides that getting up at the butt-crack-o-dawn is a great idea. He came toddling into my room bellowing a hearty "hi!" with my sister following close behind. Sis then decided to join me in the twin bed I was trying so desperately to remain asleep in. Well, good morning to all! And for all that, you'd think I'd have at least one quote of theirs to share with you. Alas....

1. LM: (upon seeing a police officer parked out in front of our house, he runs out the door to say hello-- and the dog goes with him, barking her head off as the man rolls down his window) "Carson, stop barking or else you'll get arrested!"

2. Hubby: (getting frantic about being late to soccer) "Guys, we need to bust ass to the car!"

LM: "Okay, Dad, we promise we'll bust our asses to the car."

Ruby: (shocked)

Me: (shocked)

Hubby: "Don't repeat that!"

(I'm still waiting for his teacher to inform me that LM suggested the class "bust ass" to P.E. or something like that, but so far it looks like he took his daddy's good advice.)

3. LM: (breathing deeply the steamy fumes of the dishwasher) "Oh, that just fills me with delight!"

4. LM: "Guys, whoever wrote our Bible-- they were really good."

5. LM: (giving me a hug and sneaking a peek down my shirt) "Ooooo, boobs!"

(Yikes.)

6. Me: (listening to LM's loud grunts from the bathroom) "Havin' a good poop in there?"

LM: "Come and see!"

Me: "Uh...no thanks."

LM: "Come on, Mom-- you'll love it! It looks like a turd monster!"

(Double yikes.)

7. LM: "Mom, do you think girls are kinda wimps?"

(Well, are we talking about pain tolerance or brute strength here? Because I have a different answer depending....)

8. Me: (yelling at LM who began distractedly wandering into his sister's soccer game) "LM! Get off the field!"

LM: (startled and then a bit embarrassed) "Geez, Mom! Are you NUTS? You almost made me break my toy!"

9. LM: "Hey, Auna, it's like a man-eating lion is in your face and then he says, 'I'm Voltron! Pewpewpewpew!' Hey, did you know McDonalds is fat?"

(I'm not sure if she was trackin' with him through all that or not.)

10. Ruby Jane: (pondering our dog) "Why is Carson's skin black?"

Me: "Because she's African-American."

Ruby: "Really!?"

Me: "Um...no."

Well, I'd better get this posted before all this crazy wind knocks our power out! It's quite intense. (I think we have a piece of somebody's siding in our yard. I'm waiting for hubby to come and rescue it.)