My Kids, Corrupting Yours

TGIF!

When I picked LM up from school today his teacher pulled me aside for a little chat. We haven't had one of those in a while, so I was curious about what could be wrong.

"LM, tell your mother why you had to miss recess today," she said, looking disapprovingly at my son. Bracing myself for something unpleasant, I was caught off guard when he mumbled, "I peed on the pass with Micah." I wasn't even sure what that meant. But apparently pee was involved somehow-- and pee is hilarious. I had to turn my head away quickly so I could hide my amused expression. This caused LM's teacher to have to cover her goofy grin as well. Great, just great. Here we're supposed to be chastising this kid and instead we're having to fight our laughter while we desperately try and pull ourselves together. What a team!

I got control of myself and turned to look at LM once again, who hadn't noticed my delight in the situation at all and was still remorsefully hanging his head. (Phew!)

"LM..." What do I say now? I thought. How does one address a situation that has no precedent and likely no future either? "LM, that is really gross! We only pee in toilets! Not on passes!" I realized how ridiculous I was sounding. This caused another fit of hysterics to wash over his teacher and me. Quickly we hid our faces again. She must really be impressed with my parenting skills.

Somehow we managed to get through it and exact a promise from LM to be more responsible with his body fluids, and I headed out to pick up Ruby Jane.

When I retrieved Ruby from her school she started in on a story about a classmate who had uttered an exclamation today that sounded suspiciously like a 4-letter word.

"Thad, did you just say s-h-i-t??!" Ruby asked him, in shock. But apparently our little Thad has less knowledge of such foul language than Ruby, and proceeded to ask her what s-h-i-t was. He wanted to know if it was related to the word "shift" at all. Well, the teacher heard him say "shift" and mistook it for the aforementioned naughty word, and rebuked him heartily for it. So, not only did Ruby teach this innocent young soul a wonderful new vocab word, she also got him in trouble for not saying it. Way to go, hon! Well done. Well done.

I'd say my two little cherubs put in a full day's work today! Peeing on inappropriate objects and defiling pure minds. Thus proving what I already suspected to be true: I am one awesome mom!