Anyway, I decided to deliver LM to Kindergarten and then take off from there. There's a cemetery nearby the school that's delightful to run in. (Really! It's one of my favorite spots!) But to get there from the school requires some jaywalking (or else it turns into a rather roundabout route that I had no intention of wasting my time with). But, wouldn't you know that a cop was perusing the school area just at the moment I was about to conduct my illegal maneuver? He was right in front of me, no less. Well, I wasn't about to jaywalk under the watchful eye of an officer. (Besides, what if he ticketed me, and one thing led to another and the stash of contraband dishwashing detergent was discovered under my kitchen sink at home?? Yikes, it's best that I just mind my Ps and Qs around law enforcement officials, I think.) Well, by continuing on my merry (legal) way I ended up even more out of range of the cemetery. So scratch that idea! I decided instead to see where this new direction took me. And where did this new direction take me, you ask? Why, into an extremely hilly area, of course! Have I ever mentioned how much I absolutely abhor running up hills? Now, downhill, that's fun. You can run downhill forever and not break a sweat-- even if you've never gone jogging in your entire life. In fact, if you wake up one day and decide suddenly you'd like to become a runner, I recommend you find a nice long hill, run down it, and call it a day. Not only will you feel impressed with yourself for getting out there, you will have completed your task so successfully you'll be on a high for the rest of the day.
Sorry. Derailed. So, I kept getting farther and farther away from where I wanted to be-- due largely to the fact that whenever I had the option of going uphill or downhill, I chose down. There is a little running phrase that kept popping into my mind as I was making these choices, however. "What goes down, must come up." Suddenly, in light of that knowledge, the downhills didn't seem so fun anymore. But by then I'd reached a nice flat area and was jogging happily (well, as happily as one can be while jogging, that is) and wondering how I was going to make it back to my car without having to run back up any hills.
The conclusion I came to was this: I would simply run the rest of my alloted time on these lovely flat roads, and then I would walk uphill back to the school. Yes! I'm brilliant! But as I turned the corner of the street I was on, I came face-to-face with a ginormous hill (with there being no second option other than turning around and heading back the same way I came). I considered doing just that, until I saw that I had an audience. A yard full of young lawn maintenance guys were hard at work mowing, trimming, fertilizing and what-have-you. Seriously, there must have been a half a dozen of them just at this one house. And what made it even worse was that they all appeared to be well-built with rustic good looks. (I can say these things because hubby doesn't read the blog. But just in case: Hubby is the most ridiculously handsome and well-built man of them all! There-- covered.)
Anyway, most of you ladies would agree with me that lawn maintenance guys are right up there with construction types-- a girl has to keep a stiff upper lip while passing by. But I wasn't just passing by, I was running by. And there was no way I was going to stop and walk up that hill-- not with twelve hunky eyes monitoring my progress! So, I did what any self-respecting girl in my situation would have done-- I charged on full-speed ahead. Eat my dust, suckers! Ha!
Let's just say that by the time I reached the top I was second guessing my vanity-induced decision-- mostly due to the fact I couldn't breathe. I was sucking in air hard and hoping against hope I was far enough away from the guys that they couldn't hear me and thus ruin all my effort. And wouldn't you know that when I crested the hill I discovered another cop (the same one?) driving by? I wanted to shake my fist at him and yell that this was all his darn fault! If I could have just jaywalked where I wanted to I wouldn't have gotten into this god-forsaken neighborhood with the maniacal hills and hunky yard crew. Darn him!
But, by that point, I didn't have far to go. And I was at the end of my alloted running time so I finished off with a cool-down walk. Heck, I needed to recover. See, I told you I'm just a lowly recreational runner. Nothing impressive here. (And I can prove it by the ever-expanding rolls that are developing around my middle, and the booty that I have to forcibly squeeze into my jeans every morning. Although, those are due more to the fact that I discovered bulk candy at WinCo than anything else....)
Oh, vanity, I have you to thank for my sore petushky this morning. What a wonderful reminder to me that I am a hopeless creature. Hopeless, hopeless, hopeless.
Hee-Hee. Blame it on that cop! Good one!
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