Lucky 13

LM has generously shared his nasty cold with Ruby Jane and myself. So far, hubby has escaped infection. (How does he do it??) The congestion got so bad I decided to try what one website described as "do-it-yourself-waterboarding" (a.k.a. nasal irrigation). Nothing like snorting a little salt water up your nose and then spitting it out your mouth, eh? Of course, it wasn't quite as easy as that for me.... More like snort, cough, gag, sputter, sputter, gag, well-- you get the idea. Maybe I just need help with my technique-- any experts out there wanna give me a little hands-on training? Could be a bonding experience! You and me, gagging ourselves with salt water over the bathroom sink, fluid and snot dribbling from most of the orifices in our faces.... Call me!

Anyway, it was another big week of quotes. With Ruby Jane contributing more frequently than usual. (Is it that "tweener" thing kicking in?)

1. LM: "Where's daddy?"

Me: "He's still not home yet."

LM: "What's going on with that rascal?!"

2. LM: "Even worser than having no comics is having no money. Then you'd have to play with stupid rocks!"

(F.Y.I.: LM must be pretty deprived because he doesn't even own any comics. Also, he happens to love playing with rocks. Go figure....)

3. Hubby: "Finish your lunch, LM."

LM: "But I can't! I'm loaded!"

4. Me: (as I sat at the table with Ruby Jane for a little arts and crafts time) "What should I draw?"

Ruby: "How about some ambidextrous carnivorous plants?"

Me: "Uhh...?"

(Just so you know, I attempted it, and found that it's very difficult to connote ambidextrousness in objects that don't actually have hands. Hmmmm-- I'm just not that good of an artist, I guess....)

5. Hubby: "Ruby Jane, put your glasses on."

Ruby: "But Dad, whenever I wear them and then take them off, everything is blurry!"

(We'll just file that one under "duh", sweetheart.)

6. Ruby Jane: (clutching a large dog bone and experimenting with puns) "Look, we got a 'bone-us' here!"

LM: (trying, not quite as successfully, to copy his sister's attempt) "Hey, look everyone! We got a 'boner' here!"

(Hubby was a bit more amused by this than I was, I admit.)

7. Me: (trying to help a less-than-enthusiastic LM with his homework) "LM, no complaining."

LM: "What do I get if I don't complain?"

Me: "You get to not be in trouble."

LM: "Ugh! I hate that deal!"

(I thought it was pretty generous, myself.)

8. LM: (lining up all the toys he was going to take to his grandma's house.)

Me: "LM, if you take that many, you might lose some."

LM: "Oh, nonsense!"

(Forgive me, it was a silly suggestion!)

9. Ruby Jane: "Mom, for some reason you've always reminded me of Elvis."

(Huhhhh...??)

10. Grandma: (frustrated by LM's wandering ways while out shopping) "LM, you either have to stick with me, your sister, or Lois."

LM: "Who has the most money?"

(I gotta hand it to him, he's always thinking!)

11. Ruby Jane: (after being questioned by her grandparents about her newfound modesty) "If you could only see the puberty I'm going through!"

(Oh, Rubes-- we all see it, babe....)

12. Hubby: "Mommy, we made cute kids!"

Me: "Yeah, when we put our genes together it turned out pretty good!"

Ruby Jane: (thinking I'd meant "jeans") "EWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

(I neglected to mention that, as a general rule, the jeans actually come off for that. We'll just file that lesson away for another day!)

13. LM: (listening to a particularly edgy Christian girl band) "This girl rocks, right? She takes it like a man!"

Stay tuned-- we're doing a major home improvement project this week. It may prove to be blog-worthy. Or not. We'll see! Have a good'n y'all!