Sheesh, They're On A Roll!

You would not believe the rapidity with which I've been able to collect quotes lately. It's like an invisible quote dam has burst around here or something! In fact, this post is gonna be a mega-sized addition of quotes (because at this rate I'll have just as many more to share with you by tomorrow).

1. Me: (concerned about the nature of his latest...um...movements) "LM, don't flush! I wanna see your poop first."

Hubby: (calling from his own throne in the other bathroom) "Wanna see mine?"

Me: "Uh...no."

(He may have mumbled something about that being "my loss", but I can't be sure-- I was already running the other way.)

2. LM: "I have a crush on Rachel."

Me: "Is Rachel a nice girl?"

LM: "Who's Rachel?"

(Uhhh.... The girl you...um.... Nevermind.)

3. LM: (after we'd finished talking about the children we sponsor) "Can someone sponsor me?"

Me: "Somebody does sponsor you!"

LM: "Who?"

Me: "Mommy and Daddy do!"

LM: "Can someone else do it?"

(While at times this could be a tempting proposition, I could not live without my daily dose of LM.)

4. LM: "Can I have some candy, Mom?"

Me: "No. Do you know why?"

LM: "Why?"

Me: "Because you're sweet enough already!"

LM: "But I'm not that sweet!"

5. Ruby Jane: (after I'd told a joke to the kiddos that I found particularly hilarious) "I'm glad you find yourself so funny, Mom."

(Yikes-- when did she become a tweener? And for the record, it was a really good joke.)

6. LM: "Grandma's just like Yzma, right?" (The "scary beyond all reason" villain from Emperor's New Groove.)

Me: "How so?"

LM: "'Cause she's old and crazy."

(So glad that Grandma doesn't read this blog, dear boy.)

7. Ruby Jane: "Mom! Tell LM to stop kissing me!"

LM: "I'm not kissing her! I'm just putting my lips on her."

(That affords me so many opportunities for comment I can't even choose....)

8. LM: "Mom, can I have some more cake?"

Me: "No, you've had enough for now."

LM: "That's no way to treat a kid! Only giving him a crumb of dessert!"

9. Lady at Church: "How are you feeling today?"

LM: "What are you? A doctor?"

Lady: "No, I'm just a friend and I know you've been sick lately."

LM: "Uh, can you just leave me in peace, please?"

(A little charmer, that LM.)

10. Me: "What did you learn today, LM?"

LM: "Uh...nothin'."

Ruby Jane: "I learned that Mr. Huseland has a weird thumb!"

(I'm so...proud??)

Are we really out of duct tape? Dang....