Party Planning 101

As the mother of two elementary school-age children, I am getting a fair amount of birthday party-throwing experience under my belt. In fact, I now feel qualified enough in my proficiency to start handing out advice for event planning. Recognize wisdom and heed it, dear ones.

1. Start with a theme, and preferably let your child pick it. Let's face it, their ideas are superior to yours. Like, say...the Voltron theme picked by my son. Who is Voltron, you ask? Why, he is a cartoon character from the late-70s/early-80s, of course! Everyone knows about Voltron! (Which makes finding appropriate Voltron party-favors an absolute breeze! And every mother knows just how important that is!) See, deciding on a theme is an important beginning to the whole party-planning process. So go with something easy like Voltron!

2. Set the date. Set the date far in advance. This will give you a false sense of security with which to avoid some of the next necessary steps (like cleaning, food prep, game planning, etc.). You will be lulled into believing you have plenty of time, and then before you know it-- BOOM-- the party is the day after tomorrow and you haven't even shopped for balloons! So give yourself lots of time for this step, you're gonna need it.

3. Hand out invitations. 1-2 weeks before the event, get those invitations out! The sooner you get them out, the sooner you are committed and there's no turning back. (And this also gives your wee guests plenty of time with which to lose the invitations or for their parents to forget them beneath a pile of junk mail.) Oh, and make sure you include that all-important RSVP section so that you can wait for all those responses you're never going to get. It makes event-planning much more exciting if you don't know who's coming until they show up at your door!

4. Contract an illness. You may be surprised to see this step, but hear me out! Getting sick a few days before the party affords you an excuse to take some time off from thinking about the whole affair. And it really forces you to get your booty into gear the minute you start feeling an iota better. And who can't use a little extra pressure before a big event, huh? I know I enjoy it!

5. Clean and decorate the house, bake the cake, plan all the games, make last-minute runs to the store, and stuff goody-bags. I included all these things in one lump step because at this point you have 2 hours before the party begins. Better get crackin'!

6. Watch all of your planning unravel in the hands of 5 first-graders who, immediately upon entering the door, have made their own plans. The games you had prepared? Out the window! They're busy playing tag outside, you fool! The cake you baked? They don't like chocolate! Better start digging in your cupboards for some candy-- or at least sprinkles for the ice cream they've only eaten one bite of. The house you just cleaned? Trashed. In the span of 2 seconds, give or take a millisecond. The helium balloons you bought for each kid? They don't like that color! Didn't you buy any other colors? Like green?

7. See as your son basks in the glory of his birthday party. Listen to him giggle with uncontained glee as he runs around with his friends. Watch as he devours all his favorite foods that you so lovingly prepared for him. Smell the scent of a 7-year old boy's happiness (it smells like outside). Feel your heart nearly burst with joy at the delight you know he is experiencing in these simple 2 hours.

8. Realize that it was all worth it.